It’s been said over and over again to me, “You are the YES Boss, but I need to say no.” Then the inevitable question follows – “So how do I say no?”  So I explain over and over again, “I say YES strategically with passion and purpose – and a firm NO, abundantly AND with certainty. How can you do that?

Over the last few years, I’ve had to become very clear on what my YES is. I’ve done this by getting clear on my values, my purpose and who I’m meant to be. It’s not an overnight process – it takes silence and solitude, it takes support systems and it takes peeling back multi-layers.

Here is the place to start:

• Values: When was the last time you considered your core values. Can you recite them to me without thinking or looking them up? Do you know what is most important to you and what drives you? All decisions should start from asking if the YES is in alignment with them. When you make decisions – big decisions and little everyday decisions, are you considering that value or are you just people pleasing?
• Passion: Once you know your values, you can plan your life accordingly.  Nothing you do or say should be out of alignment with those values. If they are in alignment, things will flow. And that’s where passion comes in. What do you love – to do, to see, to be – and why? What makes the fire burn within you? Find the passion in life.
• Purpose: Do you know your big life purpose? What are you on this earth here and now to create? It took until age 50 for me to establish my true purpose. But it also took a lot of painful lessons, lessons that I truly believe were a part of my necessary journey to be able to define my passion and purpose. And now I’m living them.

Once you know these things about yourself, it’s easier to use your YES with a strong all-knowing hearty YES – YES to healthy relationships, YES to big business opportunities, YES to volunteering, and YES to self care!! We can say YES and feel nurtured and nourished. And we can say NO more abundantly purposefully, without feeling guilty! The fact is, many times we say YES just because we are trying to please others – it’s said out of guilt or a fear of not being liked or accepted. But then we don’t like ourselves, resent what we are doing for others and feel used and sometimes abused.

YES, I am the YES Boss but that’s because I’ve learned to LIVE my YES and I use my NO without guilt or hesitation.